The Need …

It is always important to feel the need to write…or rather the need to express!!

Often when my heart is full, and I’m happy or I feel I have accomplished goals, that my creative juices dry up . And it just happens that my mind stops thinking or wanting more . It is at this time I just stop writing … the flow just stops.

I guess we shouldn’t be ever content !!

It is only when I feel, life has much more to offer me , many more lessons to teach me , many more layers of people to show me … that I feel the need to rant it out .

I don’t even know if this is exactly a rant ! I just feel it is my emotions inside trying to escape my clogged mind. Not always do I feel negative about life , but when I do , it is quite on a superlative level.

Not good , but not bad either !

A person with few friends and less of a family , needs an escape with words. And if we have stayed strong like a rock forever , we know how much it takes to stay that hard.

What people don’t realize is that under that rock hard layer , under the smiling mask, under the loving heart , under the caring appeal …. lies a soft mushy human , who is always wanting to be pampered and felt important.

The need is that what kills …..

Hair fall rescue

Okay okay, I know I have been MIA since long, but believe me, I missed you guys as much !

Being a mother of two demanding demons, preparing them for their final exams kept me on my toes all the time 😭

To be honest, I really wanted to go and write the exams myself to save me the trouble of being at their back for studies every single minute !!

Can’t even explain how stressed out and sleepless I have been since two months now ; I need a serious break ( note Mr Hubby )

And the madness that came with exams has taken a toll on my skin and hair :|. It has been days now I’m losing hair in a bunch and I feel, if this continues I’d be the one defining women baldness soon !

So, I searched and searched the internet and found an easy DIY to rescue myself from hair loss. BUT … I cannot assure you it works for all, coz I’m no certified beautician to prescribe it to anyone. Give it a try, if you wish to, it’s entirely your choice !!

So here it goes – take an onion, blend it in a mixture with some water till it becomes a smooth paste. Make sections of your hair and apply the paste to coat all of your hair evenly. Leave it for as long as you can ( say 30 mins minimum) and wash it off with a mild shampoo , followed by a conditioner. Simple, right ??

NO !!! IT ISN’T SO SIMPLE GUYS !!

TWO REASONS :

#1 It ain’t easy to keep an onion on your head for so long. Your eyes might sting making you cry, and you might have to resist the urge to wash it off anytime within 5 mins of application. Moreover I had strong feelings of some Indian gravy cooking in my head with lots of onions and tomatoes ! I have honestly started hating Indian curries after this try 😭

#2 The smell of the onion is so pungent, it won’t come off with one wash. So please, please try it at your own risk. The smell lingers for 2 days on me, and then wears off. But it is practically like living with onions on your head for 2 long days !! ( ask yourself if you can handle that )
Yes ! The smell is yuck !! More horrible than eggs 😱

BUT …..

The benefits are amazing ! Just in a week I noticed the reduction in my hair fall . Moreover the locks feel more lustrous and manageable.
Earlier , I avoided combing my hair much, because I was worried of losing more hair, but now, I comb twice a day, and don’t lose many strands 😝

Also … You can mellow down the smell of onions by adding few ingredients into the hair pack.

Add a ripe banana and a hand full of coriander leaves along with onions. I personally didn’t do this coz I find it difficult to remove the banana from the hair.

Add some hung curd and a hand full of curry leaves along with onions. I couldn’t do this, coz I have colored hair. The curd acts as a bleach and wears
off the color too soon.
That leaves me just with Mr. Onion 😂

But it is fine, I can live with the smell, given Mr Onion has been so kind to my rough, frizzy, falling hair 🙂

So, go ahead you girls, give it a try and do let me know how this works for you….

Also, any further suggestions on how to reduce hairfall using natural hair packs are always welcome  🙂

Happy Anniversary !

Strange ! How time flies !

WordPress wishes me a happy blogging anniversary today 😊
And amidst all the chaos in my life , the gesture puts a smile on my face ….

Just few years back, I had started to explore the blogosphere out of sheer boredom ; being in a new country I had absolutely nothing to do to kill time.
With easy access to Internet and lots of time on hands, I started visiting few blogs of my interest regularly. Didn’t realize , when I felt an urge to plunge into writing myself 😄

I always believed I was a girl of very few words ( and very few friends ).
As I started unwrapping myself, giving myself a chance to express, freaking out at being exposed as well, I realized, I had lots to say !
And there were many who could stand my gibberish nonsense 🙈
I made a few blogger friends as well on the way ; I cherish this friendship ❤️

It has been a fantabulous journey ; a bed of roses with some thorns here and there ..
Thank you all for being a part of my blogger world , 3 years it is !

See you soon …. Cheers !

I missed you 💕

It feels nice to be back
It feels nice to be back in action
It feels nice to be back in action and loved !

I realize, one thing I missed all the way in these months, was venting out here….
This blog was and has always been a place where I would unscrew my bottled up emotions ….

Having said that, I’d admit, I missed my virtual friends too !
The ones who always followed me, boosted me, picked me up, made me laugh, made me ponder, corrected me and stayed with me unconditionally ….

Thanks for being around ….

I am fine and just struggling to push away the writers block in my head !
I am making up my mind to start driving again ….
I am wondering if I can start working again some day….
I am wanting to start baking again soon ; it works as a therapy ….
Yes ! Strange , but I have since long kept away from many things that I love doing ….. Hope I reconsider myself soon 😄

Just a hope !!

How long ??

How long would you take to accept a rejection ?

How long would you pretend to close your eyes and behave like you weren’t vulnerable , while you actually were ?!

How long would you take to learn that life ain’t a cakewalk ?

How long would you take to know that people walk in and walk out of our lives, just at the right moment !

A human tendency, actually two –
#1 To be always loved and wanted by the close ones
#2 To never give up on hoping, that they love and want you !

Both, I feel, are equally draining out emotionally …..

You want something and you don’t get it ; you give unconditionally with an expectation to get it back in the same measure ; you keep hoping for a miracle to happen …..and finally, accepting, that it won’t work out !

The fear of rejection ; negative and draining out for some, positive and uplifting for others…

Depends how we take it ; for there is always a prelude to better stories written in life…… Fall down, bite the dust ; get up, shrug the pain ; look around, look inside ; what we want always resides inside us…. Not in the people we love or want
They are just means to make us to come to terms with harsh realities of life…. God has his own ways to make us learn everything we should in this small life of ours

Make peace with yourself, think positively and find a way….. Where there is a will, there is a way, goes the saying…

Cry out if you feel like ! Crying is a therapy .
Dig your head into to the pillow, punch the walls, bang your fists on the table….. Do whatever you feel like to make you feel better
It is always fine to let go ourselves sometimes, how long can we hold on with the misery within ourself ?!

Talk to someone if that makes you feel lighter, abuse, curse, as much as you want, get angry with yourself ….. But just take care not to hurt anyone in the process ; angst, tears, shouting , will actually make you feel better….

And if you are the silent type , try writing out something ! Penning down your fears and expectations, your pain, will make you feel free….

And once you are done venting out, you won’t feel like doing it again !! Believe me, your heart will feel better, your mind and body more in control 😀

Don’t take life too seriously, no one anyways gets out of it alive 😃

Tears, sighs and curses would make you feel more hopeless !
So move on to smiles, happiness and openness ….

Just accept the fact, life is a process and we are all learners all our life….. Let them go, welcome the new with open arms 😊

While in despair, remind yourself each single day, two things –

WHATEVER HAPPENED WAS FOR GOOD and
I LOVE MYSELF …….and you’ll be at peace forever 😁

For, those who learn to digest the failures, are always the winners ….

Agree or not ?

WordPress on iPhone

Back then, I used to access WordPress on my laptop…. And was used to posting, editing and updating my posts easily, coz it is a broader interface ….

But now, my net connection is through my iPhone and I am slowly getting used to it, but find it a little mind boggling to do the same set of things on a smaller screen !

One quick question, I still dunno how to upload / insert pics into my posts using the WordPress app on this iPhone, and that really drives me crazy !

Everytime I try to insert a pic, I can’t either insert it where I want it to be exactly, or end up fiddling with the text I’ve already written !! I get frustrated !!

I would never like my posts without pictures, and sometimes, there are picture heavy posts waiting to be posted, just because I can’t figure out how to do it ?!! 😖😖

Oh yes ! And one more thing, I cannot find the spell check option anywhere !! Please help me locate it 😩

Please, if anyone can help me out on this, I would be really thankful ….

Sweet nothing 🎶

Eating rate – maximum !
Sleeping capacity – extreme !!
Work efficiency – optimum….
Writing frequency – occasional
Communication – zero !!

Yeah, this is what happens when I completely blank out ! 😁

When I feel I’ve been zoned out, kinda stoned, albeit without grass !

It is like you’ve been talking for ages and ages ; screaming, yelling, begging, barking…. At a white wall, blank for no apparent reason…..

You have just squeezed out, whatever was left inside that black, gray and white heart…. And haven’t been noticed ever, for whatever you’ve been going through …

It is then, that we come down, a level lower, and stop, and think, and talk, into emptiness….

Eat, work, sleep….. Think, think, think…… Don’t react, don’t pour it out, just go with the flow …… Stay still, calm, stare into nothingness……
See those birds flying high in the sky, notice the bright sun pouring over the greens, watch the ducks feeding their ducklings, hear the cricket play it’s music, listen to the sparrows chirping away merrily !!!

Do nothing !
Believe me, it is the toughest thing on earth, to sit and do nothing at all….. Your mind can’t be free of thoughts, your eyes can’t stop seeing things, your heart can’t stop feeling the emotions !

Try !! You have to do it ! Do it for yourself , when you feel the need to vent out, abuse, feel the urge to go slap someone ! 😝

I am in that phase , and am enjoying the sweet nothingness …. Absolute blank walls around me, staring at me, waiting for emotions to rush out again and be myself 😊

I’ll take my time though !

Have you been there ? Enjoyed it ?

Furious !!!

Yeah, okay, I’m not furious at you guys !

But kinda pissed off at those who try to advice me on small things like what should I eat and how much ! 😖

I mean , it is actually none of their business …

I am a grown up , and quite sure of what I’m doing , I am in my senses all the time ; wonder what makes them walk upto me and tell me – eat something, girl, you’re so skinny !!

In all my sanity, I would like to tell those crackheads….. People, that is how God made me !! And you can’t question him !

I mean, I have the best bod at 37 !
Beautiful curves, perfect figure, and all that even after 2 kids, who make me go crazy all the time !!

So what, if He just forgot to inject some fat into my cheeks ?!!

I’m no zombie !
I eat well, rest well, work well, highly efficient , productive and energetic at all the times ……. Just don’t judge me from those cheeks, stuck to the bones ….kinda permanently …

And believe me, I’ve tried all sort of odd things to get some flesh on my cheeks !

Facial yoga – with all that deep inhaling and exhaling, like I was panting all the time !

Face massages – I actually rubbed butter and carrot pulp and boiled apples and all those yuck kinda stinky things on my cheeks to make em chubby !

Facial exercises – I can actually make tons of faces, fine enough to scare kids, and funny enough to make adults crack up at any place on this earth ….. And I did end up looking like a jerk in public places 😄

For all those who know me, are aware of the fact how self obsessed I am ! I love myself and embrace my curves in totality ☺️
And those who don’t know this little freak inside me, need to learn that I am fully capable of taking care of myself and my two kids, and I do that single handedly !

So just stop walking upto me and screaming into my face to eat something !

I DO EAT !!
If I wouldn’t, I would be a bad mother, irresponsible and careless …. Coz I need to set an example for my kids on healthy eating….AND I KNOW THAT !

So kindly leave me alone and go mind your own business …

( sorry if you feel I used too many offensive words this time ! But you know, I am furious !! 😝)

Have you ever felt this kinda social pressure building up on you ?
If not for being under weight, maybe for being on the heavier side ! Do share …. 😉

I, me, myself :)

Little Joys of Life <3

As I jot down this post, I am grinning ear to ear 🙂

I have butterflies in my tummy, really huge ones, jumping around, making me feel goose !!!

It has been ages I wrote down something, a long time for someone like me, who needs to vent out quite often 😛

Ohh yess ! I do whine a lot !!

Ahh well! Something made me smile today, and I had to share it with my extended family here 🙂

*     *    *

My girl, got this really nice book from her school library few days back. Being too busy with the chores I didn’t notice it lying on the desk for almost a day ! ( Okay, I did clean the desk, but it still  went unnoticed 😛 )

It was only before parting for the bed, did I notice how the book was molding her thought process !!!

She got off her bed, walked to her school bag and brought out something. While I was too sleepy and almost cross at her not letting me switch off the lights, she smiled, walked up to me and handed me a bunch of flowers saying – “Mamma, I love you !!!”.

I was stunned ! At loss of words ! Coz what I was thinking was, I would scold her for climbing down the bed at this hour of night and make so much of noise.

She then hugged me, and kissed me goodnight….

As she slept peacefully, with her lips curved into a smile, she looked like an angel ! I just felt blessed 🙂

Later that night, I took the book myself and read it all in one go.

It is a must read book for kids and also for frowning mums like me, who forget to notice the little bundles of happiness in our lives.

*     *     *

A day back, I was at my earlier workplace, trying to get at it once again.

Although, things didn’t fall into place, something happened that made me smile 🙂

The receptionist, an old friend, was just casually inquiring of my kids and how were they doing at studies. She couldn’t believe her ears, when I told her, I had two kiddos, who kept me on toes all day. Her jaw dropped, and the only words that came out were  – Teacher, how do you maintain yourself ?!!!! You look too young to be a mother of two ! 😛

I just couldn’t stop laughing out loud ! 😛  We chuckled, and I had to spill the beans to her !

I told her – Have kids and you’ll know how they help you maintain yourself 😛

While walking back home, I just realised, how I was missing out on yoga, I had always been obsessed with !!!

An immediate decision, yess, I am starting yoga again ! That is what keeps me in shape and in peace of mind 🙂

( Who doesn’t love to collect compliments anyways 🙂 )

*     *     *

 I have recently moved into my new home 🙂 sweet little home of my own !

The house still demands a lot of arrangements, but I am at it already, and will finish it by month end… hopefully

Those who went through my earlier post, know how I had been struggling all these days, to get into a stable state of mind.

The things are starting to get straight again, and I am becoming more positive each day.

A big thank you to all of you, who wished me luck, said good words and prayed for me !! You guys keep me going 🙂

*     *     *

Here I shared the little joys of my life 🙂

Did you come across anything that made you smile today ?