Category Archives: Relationships

How long ??

How long would you take to accept a rejection ?

How long would you pretend to close your eyes and behave like you weren’t vulnerable , while you actually were ?!

How long would you take to learn that life ain’t a cakewalk ?

How long would you take to know that people walk in and walk out of our lives, just at the right moment !

A human tendency, actually two –
#1 To be always loved and wanted by the close ones
#2 To never give up on hoping, that they love and want you !

Both, I feel, are equally draining out emotionally …..

You want something and you don’t get it ; you give unconditionally with an expectation to get it back in the same measure ; you keep hoping for a miracle to happen …..and finally, accepting, that it won’t work out !

The fear of rejection ; negative and draining out for some, positive and uplifting for others…

Depends how we take it ; for there is always a prelude to better stories written in life…… Fall down, bite the dust ; get up, shrug the pain ; look around, look inside ; what we want always resides inside us…. Not in the people we love or want
They are just means to make us to come to terms with harsh realities of life…. God has his own ways to make us learn everything we should in this small life of ours

Make peace with yourself, think positively and find a way….. Where there is a will, there is a way, goes the saying…

Cry out if you feel like ! Crying is a therapy .
Dig your head into to the pillow, punch the walls, bang your fists on the table….. Do whatever you feel like to make you feel better
It is always fine to let go ourselves sometimes, how long can we hold on with the misery within ourself ?!

Talk to someone if that makes you feel lighter, abuse, curse, as much as you want, get angry with yourself ….. But just take care not to hurt anyone in the process ; angst, tears, shouting , will actually make you feel better….

And if you are the silent type , try writing out something ! Penning down your fears and expectations, your pain, will make you feel free….

And once you are done venting out, you won’t feel like doing it again !! Believe me, your heart will feel better, your mind and body more in control 😀

Don’t take life too seriously, no one anyways gets out of it alive 😃

Tears, sighs and curses would make you feel more hopeless !
So move on to smiles, happiness and openness ….

Just accept the fact, life is a process and we are all learners all our life….. Let them go, welcome the new with open arms 😊

While in despair, remind yourself each single day, two things –

WHATEVER HAPPENED WAS FOR GOOD and
I LOVE MYSELF …….and you’ll be at peace forever 😁

For, those who learn to digest the failures, are always the winners ….

Agree or not ?

Sweet nothing 🎶

Eating rate – maximum !
Sleeping capacity – extreme !!
Work efficiency – optimum….
Writing frequency – occasional
Communication – zero !!

Yeah, this is what happens when I completely blank out ! 😁

When I feel I’ve been zoned out, kinda stoned, albeit without grass !

It is like you’ve been talking for ages and ages ; screaming, yelling, begging, barking…. At a white wall, blank for no apparent reason…..

You have just squeezed out, whatever was left inside that black, gray and white heart…. And haven’t been noticed ever, for whatever you’ve been going through …

It is then, that we come down, a level lower, and stop, and think, and talk, into emptiness….

Eat, work, sleep….. Think, think, think…… Don’t react, don’t pour it out, just go with the flow …… Stay still, calm, stare into nothingness……
See those birds flying high in the sky, notice the bright sun pouring over the greens, watch the ducks feeding their ducklings, hear the cricket play it’s music, listen to the sparrows chirping away merrily !!!

Do nothing !
Believe me, it is the toughest thing on earth, to sit and do nothing at all….. Your mind can’t be free of thoughts, your eyes can’t stop seeing things, your heart can’t stop feeling the emotions !

Try !! You have to do it ! Do it for yourself , when you feel the need to vent out, abuse, feel the urge to go slap someone ! 😝

I am in that phase , and am enjoying the sweet nothingness …. Absolute blank walls around me, staring at me, waiting for emotions to rush out again and be myself 😊

I’ll take my time though !

Have you been there ? Enjoyed it ?

Little Joys of Life <3

As I jot down this post, I am grinning ear to ear 🙂

I have butterflies in my tummy, really huge ones, jumping around, making me feel goose !!!

It has been ages I wrote down something, a long time for someone like me, who needs to vent out quite often 😛

Ohh yess ! I do whine a lot !!

Ahh well! Something made me smile today, and I had to share it with my extended family here 🙂

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IMG_2460

My girl, got this really nice book from her school library few days back. Being too busy with the chores I didn’t notice it lying on the desk for almost a day ! ( Okay, I did clean the desk, but it still  went unnoticed 😛 )

It was only before parting for the bed, did I notice how the book was molding her thought process !!!

She got off her bed, walked to her school bag and brought out something. While I was too sleepy and almost cross at her not letting me switch off the lights, she smiled, walked up to me and handed me a bunch of flowers saying – “Mamma, I love you !!!”.

I was stunned ! At loss of words ! Coz what I was thinking was, I would scold her for climbing down the bed at this hour of night and make so much of noise.

She then hugged me, and kissed me goodnight….

As she slept peacefully, with her lips curved into a smile, she looked like an angel ! I just felt blessed 🙂

Later that night, I took the book myself and read it all in one go.

It is a must read book for kids and also for frowning mums like me, who forget to notice the little bundles of happiness in our lives.

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A day back, I was at my earlier workplace, trying to get at it once again.

Although, things didn’t fall into place, something happened that made me smile 🙂

The receptionist, an old friend, was just casually inquiring of my kids and how were they doing at studies. She couldn’t believe her ears, when I told her, I had two kiddos, who kept me on toes all day. Her jaw dropped, and the only words that came out were  – Teacher, how do you maintain yourself ?!!!! You look too young to be a mother of two ! 😛

I just couldn’t stop laughing out loud ! 😛  We chuckled, and I had to spill the beans to her !

I told her – Have kids and you’ll know how they help you maintain yourself 😛

While walking back home, I just realised, how I was missing out on yoga, I had always been obsessed with !!!

An immediate decision, yess, I am starting yoga again ! That is what keeps me in shape and in peace of mind 🙂

( Who doesn’t love to collect compliments anyways 🙂 )

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 I have recently moved into my new home 🙂 sweet little home of my own !

The house still demands a lot of arrangements, but I am at it already, and will finish it by month end… hopefully

Those who went through my earlier post, know how I had been struggling all these days, to get into a stable state of mind.

The things are starting to get straight again, and I am becoming more positive each day.

A big thank you to all of you, who wished me luck, said good words and prayed for me !! You guys keep me going 🙂

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Here I shared the little joys of my life 🙂

Did you come across anything that made you smile today ?

Time flies….

Sorry for being MIA since long (umm… i know there can’t be an excuse), but believe me I’ve turned into an absolute crazy zombie right now !!

The culprit ? ….Well, the extra lengthy summer vacations that the kids are enjoying, driving me nuts all the time 😛

Apparently, we all love kids, but not their vacations, not at least me !!

As a teenager, I always hated having kids around. I believed they stress their parents and make them go insane, and I stuck to this prejudice even after having my own kids………….coz they really do exactly the same.

……..ok fine, before you start raising your eyebrows, I admit I was  just kidding 😀

But this isn’t the exact reason of my freaking behaviour right now…….its something else,stuck on my mind.

Back in India, all the relatives and friends who managed to meet us after one long year of exile in a foreign country, all of them, noticed something common.

They all pointed out, and how, that my girl had grown up !!

As a mom this freaked me out. Of course, she was growing, and I knew that, but this sudden attack of the human species around me, intruding into my ten-year old girl’s growth was a bit awkward for me to take 😦

I immediately became a helicopter mom, monitoring her eating habits and bugging her to watch her weight. Luckily she never got nagged enough to stop eating.

I agree, she is a healthy eater, a happy child and is physically active too. She is perfectly the height and weight of her age. But as a mom, for me she was still a kid.

My fickle mind was out of  admitting the fact that she was into her growing years.

So obviously, while all her hormones were  to start playing tricks soon, and her girly curves were gradually being visible, those people around me had to pinpoint that she had grown up !!

While I say this, I am still freaked out on how do I explain her all about the things she needs to know at this age. More worse, what if she questions me inquisitively and I can’t provide a valid answer?

Luckily, kids these days get most of their dose of information from school. But I am always afraid of the negative effects of that half cooked girly gossips there 😛

Hope I am able to provide her with all the information she needs, on time and positively.

Time flies, for sure…………my kid girl is growing up !!

P.S. I hate being a helicoptering parent

Suggestions are always welcome……….

Of Blogging

I am no inspirational blogger, neither a fashion/style blogger, nor a food blogger.

I am a newbie, learning to write from my experiences and encounters with friendly strangers on the blogosphere 🙂

Just two months of blogging has exposed me to a variety of aspects of blogging.

A new blogger is always fancied by the growing  number of followers, intrigued by the likes his writings get and overwhelmed by his growing blog stats every-day.

Consequently he/she needs to stick to the following, more or less.

Take a look, and feel free to correct me !!

1. Read, Read, Read.

“Reading is the first step to blogging “. Luckily, I came across this quote the very first day I made an account with WordPress; and since then, I’ve stuck to it.

Out of my five days for WordPress (not counting the weekends, coz I don’t log in then), two days I write, and three I have dedicated to reading others.

Reading gives us the pulse of the time, our mind becomes open to new ideas and trends. Consequently, something interesting may spark us, and we may pen down.

2. If you like it, comment on it.

Just as we love being appreciated, so do others. If a writer has taken out time to write down something, leave a comment of appreciation.

Of course, you can ‘like’ the post, but then, a comment makes you interact one-to-one with the writer. And the person feels good too !!

As a matter of fact, he would return the favour by surely visiting your blog. More traffic that is 🙂

3. Do not forget to reply.

This is one of the most important aspects of blogging, I feel. I have visited several blogs, but not all of them reply to my comments. Eventually, I end up not visiting them any more; It is a human nature.

If you show the – I don’t care attitude, the reader wont bother to come back and read you again. So think twice, before  you skip those replies.

Take time to thank  your followers and the commenters, they feel connected and appreciated.

Also, if someone chooses to follow you, return the favour by following back 🙂

4. Blog your mind. Do not beg, borrow or steal.

Of course we can always steal the ideas, but not the text. Copy and paste is a bad idea……its plagiarism.

Be original; if you are a thief stealer, some one might notice it, and you lose respect instantly.

Remember, the readers are smart, and they are not only reading  you, they are judging you too 🙂

5. Be true. Do not fake or camouflage.

Nobody is perfect, and life is not a cakewalk. So don’t try to portray only the good things in life.

Too many sugar-coated things and your readers are bound to puke.

Occasionally, take a dig at the other side of your life, and your readers would enjoy the plunge !!

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Disclaimer– All the views expressed here are my own. I don’t intend to offend any one, so please don’t be !!

Please add to my list, if I missed out some 🙂

How much is too much

Children using gadgets

 

I recently came across a survey which pointed out that watching television was actually good for children.

They argue, that watching TV enhances the vocabulary of the children, helps them distinguish between good and evil, develops a positive approach in them to fight against the odds, imparts information they would otherwise be deprived of, and provides entertainment while they are bored.

Well, I may sound conventional, but that is not what I agree with completely. Everything comes in this world with its pros and cons.

I believe, electronic gadgets confine the children to a smaller space. It makes them addicted to the virtual world of media and information. They lose their ability to socialize and understand the perspective of others.

Are we not exposing them to too much of technology?

Given the extremely harsh weather conditions (extreme heat and extreme cold), in the UAE, we are forced to stay indoors most of the time. Even if the springs and autumns are pleasant, the remote place where I stay, doesn’t have enough facilities for sport. That leaves kids with the only option of being glued to electronic devices, as the TV or the iphone or the laptop.

There always is a conflict between me and the children, on deciding how much time should be spent watching TV. And it is difficult for me to keep them away from it as they do not have any other activity on their mind.

Yes, I know, it’s a mother’s duty to diverge their mind and broaden their thinking horizons, so as to come out of the electronic trap. But it ain’t that easy !!

Our typical weekend schedule goes like this –

Kids- watching TV………….Dad- busy with the Iphone………….Mom- in the kitchen

Kids- busy with the laptop……Dad- watching TV…………………Mom- in the kitchen

Kids- fighting for the Iphone……….Dad- watching TV………..Mom- busy with laundry

Kids- back to TV……………….Dad- dozing off…………………..Mom- busy cleaning

It is not that I don’t try to make them read books, or play indoor games, or help them in creative crafting. But that gets over soon, and they are back to their gadgets.

Added to all this is the continued interest of the dad as well in the electronic gadgets, he has proudly spent money on.

That leaves me with a question – Am I not a good parent? Is there anything that I can really do to improve this condition ?

Should I become a dictator and cut down on the screen time totally, should I be stubborn and make them watch only the informative channels (but they love cartoons), or should I fight with my partner to act rationally and indulge in more activities with kids.

But all of this seems to be quite impossible to me.

The key lies in the balance. What do you suggest?

The Beginning

I can’t just stop blushing today 😀

The reason is the pic of my little one I captured just a few minutes back. It has given me a chance to prove that he is after all mamma’s boy !!

Have a look at it –

He loves his books

Me and my partner, at times, have a casual fight on whom the kids have pooled in genes from. Most of the times the final verdict is that the girl resembles me while the little man resembles his dad; and similarity means both in looks and the character. That offences me a bit, coz I want my boy to be a ‘mamma’s boy’ – although he is, to a certain extent 😉

This afternoon I got a chance to click this random snap, as a proof that the guy too has pooled some genes from me. Look how he sleeps soundly with his newly found love in those little hands. Since they are bedtime stories, they are supposed to be in the bed with him, any time he is sleeping !!

Dad doesn’t ever pick up a book, its only the mum who cajoles them to read all kinds of books at hand. Slowly but firmly, the kids are showing an inclination towards reading, as I have cut down on the TV time. That makes me happy, yay !!

 

His books should be on the shelf with mine.

He has arranged his book collection (although very few books at the start), neatly along with mine on the shelf. And he proudly adds ” Mumma I read too, I need to place my books on the shelf, can’t let them lie around randomly.”

How responsible and cute that is !!

It’s a new beginning for me.

That reminds me of a proverb – As you sow, so shall you reap. I am already sowing 🙂

A Mother’s Confession

I see no reason, why mothers day has to be celebrated on a particular day.

Isn’t everyday a mother’s day? Do mothers stop being mothers on other days?

Well I guess, its too late to discuss it now 🙂

Every day is a Mothers day

The celebrations and mentions of mothers all around, accidentally reminded me of my mother (yea almost accidentally, coz  I was never close to her).

As a teen, I was always close to my dad. Mum always remarked, we were the same breed – selfish and arrogant (and ungrateful too, but she never said that).

And I used to take proud in being so, I was daddy’s girl, spoilt and happy !!

She was the one, who wasn’t very well-educated and married off at a tender age. I know it wasn’t her fault, but that always made me look down upon her as a parent who wasn’t contributing to her child’s studies. Although she was the best at whatever she did.

Her primary function being, cooking and taking care of her family with three kids. She was always over-powered and over-shadowed by her husband (my dad), and I never realised she was being neglected. She had never complained.

She couldn’t help us to study, but took care that we finished our homework on time, submitted our projects, arranged our bags, learnt our lessons for the test, ate well and slept on time. Nothing had deterred her dedication as a loving mother who never expected anything in return. Anything she said in terms of discipline was counted as nagging.

Fast forward to present, when I am a mother myself, I realise how wrong I had been.

Although she had never sat down to teach me how to do a tricky calculation, she taught me the lessons of life. She taught me how could I be a good mother to my kids.

The dedication I possess is only a fraction of hers and I still have a long way to go. The thing that troubles me is that I could never really thank her for whatever she had done for me, may be due to my ignorance then. Neither did she expect me to do so, nor was I mature enough that time to express it. May be there was a communication gap.

She was sure the back bone of the family. If it wasn’t her perseverance, dad would not have been able to focus the way he did on building our careers. Just because he was more vocal and expressive, and she was reserved and submissive, he got more of the spotlight.

As a mother myself now, I always take care my kids talk enough to me. I try to be their friend in deeds and needs both. And it pains sometimes to see  how they consider the disciplinary issues as a usual nagging of mothers.

I feel its kinda tit for tat for me 🙂 I never ignore it though. At times I try to change myself, and at other times try to mould them into a more decent behaviour (which isn’t easy of course)

When I look back, I realise, mum was always there with me. Not even once had she left my side or stopped loving me. Be it my first day to the school, my board examinations, my first periods, or the birth of my children. She was a support and a pillar of strength for me.

Only if she could read this post, or I gather enough courage to go up to her, hug her and say – Sorry mum, I underestimated you………..

Men vs Men

Yep, you read it right!!

I am a bit pissed off today and really want to let it out about this strange species, called men. 😛

According to me, there exist essentially two kinds of men, one – those who cannot shop anything for anyone at all, two – those who can shop everything for only themselves. The middle kind doesn’t exist at all !!

self centered vs dumbheads !!!

The men in category 1, are like babies put in the play area with colourful balls of all shapes and sizes around.

They keep on running all around a supermarket, just not knowing what to cart. They are so confused, they actually have no idea of what products are they looking for. These kind of men, sport an awkward smile when someone looks at them, thinking, what the heck am I doing here!! They almost get a chill down their spine, when someone approaches them  for a suggestion (like- omg, is he/she gonna ask me something.)

They are like headless chickens running around nothing.

They can produce better results only if they got the shopping list from their wife. If in case left to shop randomly, they would come back home with a pathetic look on their face saying – Nothing was worth buying at all !!!

And if the lady is accompanying them for the shopping trip, she would have a triple responsibility of shopping for herself, her home, and her man….ohh yes not to forget the kids 😉

Obviously, the men in category 2, are exactly the opposite.

When it comes to shopping, there is nothing in this world they can do better !! They actually give tough competition to women here.

They know the best of brands, the best of outlets……and the best of all, they know what exactly they need to buy, that too with whatever time they have at hand.

Of course, occasionally they do get something for their ladies and kids, but their primary focus is to shop the best for themselves.

They are seen mostly loitering around in the mens area, without kids (obviously no distraction required )……while their lady, trails behind, keeping her kids away from fragile things at the supermarket, looking at the ceiling to remember what she needs to shop for today’s dinner and then thinking of getting herself into the women area so that she buys herself something good. And by this time, the kids get hungry and she has to back out from her shopping, just to get into the food court, minus her husband, who is still in the fitting room !!!

While those in the 2nd category sound to be self-centred, the ones in the 1st category seem to be dumb-heads.

The reason, I had to post this was that, my man falls into the 1st category 😛

The other day, I had sent him to get himself a few T-shirts he was badly in need of, from a store at the mall. The moment he landed there, I had my cell ringing. He was so confused of what to get himself, that he came back with an absolute blank look saying – I can’t shop without you !!

Now of course, that’s sweet, but its irritating as well….

I had blown up my wallet at the same store, that afternoon, and he couldn’t find himself a single damn thing, ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous !!!

All I could do was – face palm 😀