Three times that week, she had been with him, devising new excuses every time. The family was obviously unaware of her intentions, as she left her baby with them.
Something was truly bugging her. The lust – love duel was still going on in her mind. She was confused.
“So, hows you today?”, she pecked him as she inquired.
“Good”, he answered faintly, not taking his eyes off his computer.
She did feel bad, but it was more than anything on earth for her, to be with him. She always wanted the moments to freeze; those moments when she would notice a hint of love in his eyes. That would make her feel wanted and desired.
The very next moment, snap…..she would feel like just an object of desire. Not sure of what was true, she would always try to hold herself back. Call her cold.
The week passed fast enough, and she was back to the square one, her home, her family, husband and the kid. She was upset, missing something, missing her devil !!
Not that she wanted him or wanted to be with him, that wasn’t possible anytime, she wanted to be around him. She felt so special, when he vented out his frustrations to her. The best part being, he would stick to her the whole day, if he felt low anytime. She would feel like a goddess 🙂
Back home, she now had no contact with him. No texts, no mails, dry days and weeping nights. There wasn’t a day, she would not think of him. A thousand questions would cross her mind at lightening speed – Was he fine? Did he not like me? Was he so busy with
his girlfriend his studies? Doesn’t he ever miss me? Did he find me old and boring? Did he want something more of me ?……..all these questions had no answer, they made her feel sick.
She had started assuming of him as an opportunist. Just because she did not fight, he had her. Just because she was around, he talked to her. She would come up with a million of questions and a zillion of manipulated answers for herself. She was already in a self-pity, self-destructive mode……
She stopped checking out his profile, stopped checking the mails (she knew they would never be there), stopped living…..it was a drag to keep waiting for a magic to happen, the magic, that never would happen. She was clueless and blank.
Love is the best emotion in this world, the best unexpressed emotion, to be precise !! One moment, it can make you feel on top of the world, and the next moment, it can reduce you to dust. She was already in ashes.
She was Rose, the thorns had started pricking her hard. Her heart was bleeding.